Cleanliness is next to Godliness

Another horrendous day weather-wise, too wet and windy to attempt anything at the allotment. So, I thought I review this week's gardening ventures instead. Not only did I manage to plant 8 more Crocosmia and my three inch high Japanese maple (not all free gifts are that wonderful...), I also cleaned out the pond. I know you'll be aching for the fascinating details, so here goes. I cleared the blanket weed using an old broom handle and the Canadian pond weed with a seive, and then removed all floating debris with a gloved hand. Then I sat back in my little wooden seat drinking my morning coffee. As luck would have it the sun came out, so I was left gazing at the glistening reflections of my daffs and my little statue as the birds twittered merrily overhead. Oh how lovely it is to have a pond, even in the depths of winter it's so much more interesting than a mass of shingle. William Blake may have been able to see the universe in a grain of sand, but I sure can't. Give me instead some Pre-Raphaelite watery depths! Suddenly Ophelia was floating amongst my dead reeds (my pond is a little on the small side to fit a copiously dressed adult woman in, but you have to remember they were smaller in those days...) Feeling soothed and strengthened, I at last ventured indoors to find I had received a Newletter from Spalding Bulbs (you'll remember that I am a Most Valued Customer). This was also offering advice about spring cleaning ponds. It said that if you had allowed any soil to enter your pond over winter, you must take up the entire pond and start again! Knowing full well that at least a ton of God's earth had slid that way only last month, I felt doomed. Surely I wasn't going to have to put up with the builders and their awful jokes all over again? Then I realised they were concerned because soil in the pond turns the water green, but I know I already have the antidote to that: it's Nishikoi Goodbye Green Water and it comes in delightful green buckets, which, if you recall, are so useful for removing frogs from the living room. Well, they used to be. I'm afraid I have now to admit to a sad fact. I found one of the frogs last week, its back legs poking out from under the washing machine, dead. And no, it hadn't been harmed by the cats. I think it was just unable to reverse (an awful evolutionary lack, like the intelligence thing). I've been very sad about this, especially since this week I found eggs laid by Mrs Frog in the water. Even though sex isn't up to much in frogs (just a quick grope under the armpits with the swollen finger pads, if I remember correctly from O-level biology), she must have missed at least the ceremony of the yearly mate. Unless God intervenes with an Immaculate Conception, I guess this means I won't be having tadpoles this year. Life in the Wild is so tough! Oh by the way, there's a new RHS website that offers a lot of advice on building a pond (I wish I'd known about it before I turned my back garden into a mud bath...), as well as being a wealth of information on wildlife gardening---it's http://www.wildaboutgardens.org/

Resolutions!

Well, Happy New Year to you all! I hope some of you will be making resolutions that go beyond the 'lose weight and get fit' variety. I thought I'd share with you the resolutions I made last year, as at that time this mighty blog did not exist. They were:
1. To turn my backgarden into a wildlife refuge, the central feature of which to be a pond.
2. To join a local charity which was involved in some environmental initiatve.
3. To insulate my loft, doubleglaze my windows and fit energy saving light bulbs.
4. To follow the Council's bin instructions to the letter.
5. To join a church that actually offered practical help to the most vulnerable instead of one that just harped on about being 'saved'.
I hope these might inspire you. As for myself, as I put on two stone last year and now waddle like a duck, I'm rejoining the gym and going on a diet...

Time for bed

Oh lordy, I don't know what to say. I was just going to make a quick check on my blog this morning, only to find something totally untoward has happened with the banner photo. It's disappeared up its own arse, that's what! As I've no idea how to put this in computer language, I don't know if I can restore it for you. Oh, poor festive readers. What a thrill you are missing! No doubt, though, you are not too bothered about that, as you've come to hear about the allotment. Yes, well the little group went up there on Friday, inspected the pile of manure, and decided to have some heartwarming cocoa and biscuits. I took up the BBC Gardeners' World magazine free calendar, which is quite magnificent this year, as a gift for the shed. We also inspected our broad beans, onion sets and garlic, all of which are doing well. People think you don't do anything in an allotment over winter---I hope I've convinced you otherwise. We were very busy harvesting our three remaining parsnips, comparing our Wellington boots, and dunking our biscuits. We decided to leave the digging of the Victorian hot bed until next year...The garden, too, looks a picture of quiet contentedness. Most mornings now the pond is frozen over and I can see an abundance of bulbs poking through the wet earth. Another fun-packed year is coming to an end.

A Cheery Cherry Planting Day

Well, I'm sure you're all wondering by now how the allotment opening day went. Fine, thank you. Actually the whole day has been somewhat stressful. First I went downstairs to find a frog on the draining board. I let it swim around in the sink while I got my coffee, and then we had to go through the whole charade of the nude trip to the pond again. Afterwards I trod on my glasses, my 'second' pair, though the ones I usually take to the allotment with me (as my first ones are "Miu mius"---huh, eat your heart out NHS subscribers!). On arriving at the allotment I found that the leader had bought two enormous flowering cherry trees which he was planning to have the visiting dignitaries plant in an area which a couple of clients and myself had spent two months clearing for a soft fruit patch. A rather heated discussion followed---the result of which was that I had to dig two large holes for the trees at the far side of the allotment. The weather wasn't pleasant, but the really hard rain only really set in as the dignitaries arrived. I don't quite know how I got mud up my nose but several people alluded to it. We all had our pictures taken pretending to plant one of the trees. And pretending to be VERY HAPPY INDEED about the whole thing, even though by this time we were all soaking wet. The usual pr job. Then tea and biscuits were passed round and polite conversation was made. It was great fun watching the dignitaries trying to figure out which of us could be considered 'mentally ill'----I was talked to very, very, slowly on at least two occasions, and almost felt I should let slip about the petrol poisoning episode last week. But I kept a dignified silence. Oh, by the way, it's now official. I have TWO friends!

A Lurid Fantasy of Monty Don's Bottom...

I just got an e-mail from a friend informing me that mirrors were once used near ponds to keep herons away. Well, that's certainly not the reason I got mine. I got them...er....because, well all the gardening mags said it was the trendy thing to do. They are supposed to give my garden endless pleasurable vistas. But what they can give you, as I've just discovered, is a very nasty shock when you're planting your bulbs, as you see your endless rear end reflected to infinity. This never happened to Monty Don! (Actually, I wouldn't mind if it did). Anyway if anyone knows of any herons visiting the Cambridge area, tell them they are most welcome to pop in. Another thing they could do, and you can do, too, is to join up with Facebook and become my friend. I've been on for two weeks and I'm absolutely fed up with being told that I have no friends in the entire Universe! Has anyone else suffered from this, I wonder?

Making a wildlife garden

OK, so how did I do it? Well the first thing I did was buy "The Wildlife Pond Handbook" by Louise Bardsley (ISBN 1 84330 111 3) and I read it very carefully indeed! I employed professionals to dig out my pond and lay the bricks as I wanted a large area of the garden (over 70% of it!!) dug out. Using Louise's book, I ordered my native pond plants from Merebrook Pond plants---excellent value as most of the plants cost less than £2.50. I raked out the back areas and planted a selection of wildflower seeds---some to attract birds, some butterflies, and one lot for 'shady areas' (all Sutton seeds). I tried to get everything I could either free or at very reduced prices---hence I visited the dump, scoured out our old shed for possible planters, and took advantage of money off offers in magazines and papers. I particularly recommend the BBC publications for this. I dug out mature plants from overgrown allotments (with permission!) to fill in any bare patches.What I didn't stint on though was the quality of the climbers that I planted around the wild section. Here I went for bright autumn colour and strong scents. I made sure that everything I bought had gained an RHS gold medal and I planted each with great care, digging in plenty of organic matter as the soil in my garden is poor (and the builders had removed all the top soil!). My plan now is to plant bunches of fragrant miniature narcissi--of course I have got the bulbs on special offer (BBC publications again!). I'd love to here your comments about this.