A Steamy Affair...

Little did I know when I wrote my blog yesterday how my life was about to change thanks to my new steam cleaner. What a little gem it is! Whilst the rest of the country had to endure a day of freezing fog stuck in an endless traffic jam, I was in steam heaven. With the touch of a button I removed dried frog goo, coagulated mouse parts, and clods of ingrained mud. And that was just from the dining room table...No seriously. The thing really works. I don't want to boast but when I looked at my kitchen floor this morning all I could think of was... King's College Chapel! And I received a full facial into the bargain...If any of you are thinking of turning your back garden into a wildlife haven, I'd say get one of these for the house before you start. Today I'm going to concentrate on upgrading my bird feeding/bathing facilities, as I've noticed that the people across the way, who used to provide a haven for all our feathered friends have apparently left. As I look across at their magnificent but now empty bird table I can see the puzzled birds coming and going. Bloody hell it's freezing out there! I'll make them a little jacuzzi I think and try the peanut feeder again. Perhaps now they're desperate they'll try them.

Resolutions!

Well, Happy New Year to you all! I hope some of you will be making resolutions that go beyond the 'lose weight and get fit' variety. I thought I'd share with you the resolutions I made last year, as at that time this mighty blog did not exist. They were:
1. To turn my backgarden into a wildlife refuge, the central feature of which to be a pond.
2. To join a local charity which was involved in some environmental initiatve.
3. To insulate my loft, doubleglaze my windows and fit energy saving light bulbs.
4. To follow the Council's bin instructions to the letter.
5. To join a church that actually offered practical help to the most vulnerable instead of one that just harped on about being 'saved'.
I hope these might inspire you. As for myself, as I put on two stone last year and now waddle like a duck, I'm rejoining the gym and going on a diet...

Computer Says No...

There is one thing that no-one tells you about starting a wildlife garden---that it will bring out inner resources that you never knew you had. I would never previously have believed that I could get up, calmly clean a mountain of cat sick from my quilt cover, remove a frog suspended from the cat flap (how? you ask yourself), and return to bed with a large cup of coffee all before 7.00 a.m. How was this possible? Well, I received a consignment of seeds yesterday, and I'm still dribbling copiously over their contents (not literally, of course, it is necessary to keep seeds DRY). Next year is going to be wonderful! Actually the week has been irritating in its own way. I've been trying to change the address on my drivers' license. This used to be a simple affair---one simply filled in the new address on the back of the old license and sent the whole thing to the license agency in Wales. Now you have to supply a photo and a whole mass of paperwork. But wait, I hear you say, you can do it all online! That's what I discovered too, so I spent nearly an hour putting my information, including all my passport details, onto their website. Page after page after page...then right after I pressed the final button, it told me that it could not process the photo from my passport and I was going to have to fill in the forms and send them in with a fresh photo anyway. The other thing that got on my wick was the health page. You had to check categories of 'serious health problem' that you had suffered from since being given your license. Well, two years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2, for which I take medication, but which I myself do not consider serious. So, the first time round, I didn't check anything. Then I received a warning that if I didn't declare any problems I could face two years in jail! I quickly went back to the original page and checked the 'serious mental illness' category, feeling like the mad woman in the attic. I went back and forth several times, actually, wondering if I should check anything else. For instance, I once got highly queasy in Boots---a reaction, I thought, to the garish Christmas decorations. Perhaps I had undiagnosed epilepsy? At one point I'd checked four categories (one of the symptoms of bipolar 2, incidently, is hypochondria, but this wasn't on the form...). Anyway, in the end I came clean---only to find that this will slow my application for the license even further as it has to be processed through the medical department and my doctor contacted for further information. This doesn't look good, as I've teased this man mercilessly about his inability to prescribe the right HRT treatment for me and the silliness of his own computer...So we'll have to wait, as they say. Does anyone else out there have any information on this? Do they take your driving license away if you are only slightly crazy (and only during the winter months!) as I am? If so, I'll fight to the last....

Frogs Ruin Elvis Lookalike Competition

Well, what I was going to write this morning has been almost totally obscured by the events of last night! I was just get comfortable, ready to watch the Elvis lookalike competition on BBC1, when a frog appeared in the living room (closely followed by a cat). A short interlude followed whilst a very fat lady was seen sprawled out on the floor trying to get the aforementioned frog in a plastic bucket so it could be returned to the pond. I'd only just sat down when the same thing happened...and it kept happening. To the extent that this morning I'm exhausted and I'VE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO WON THE ELVIS COMP. I tell you this wildlife thing is no picnic. Anyway my main horticultural tip for today is to remind you all to buy your bulbs from a reputable dealer! As Alan Titchmarsh himself demonstrated only a few weeks ago on the Beeb, small daffodil bulbs produce only one flower (at best) per bulb, whereas large ones can produce three...I get most of my bulbs from Spalding, which is the centre of bulb growing in the UK. You probably don't know that Spalding holds the most fantastic bulb festival every spring which is as good as anything you'll see in Holland, but we Brits are not good at advertising such things. I've already planted by snake-headed fritillaries and am waiting for some rain to get my crocuses and daffs in. The fritillaries are good because you can plant them in partial shade and boggy bits and they still come up good.

Making a wildlife garden

OK, so how did I do it? Well the first thing I did was buy "The Wildlife Pond Handbook" by Louise Bardsley (ISBN 1 84330 111 3) and I read it very carefully indeed! I employed professionals to dig out my pond and lay the bricks as I wanted a large area of the garden (over 70% of it!!) dug out. Using Louise's book, I ordered my native pond plants from Merebrook Pond plants---excellent value as most of the plants cost less than £2.50. I raked out the back areas and planted a selection of wildflower seeds---some to attract birds, some butterflies, and one lot for 'shady areas' (all Sutton seeds). I tried to get everything I could either free or at very reduced prices---hence I visited the dump, scoured out our old shed for possible planters, and took advantage of money off offers in magazines and papers. I particularly recommend the BBC publications for this. I dug out mature plants from overgrown allotments (with permission!) to fill in any bare patches.What I didn't stint on though was the quality of the climbers that I planted around the wild section. Here I went for bright autumn colour and strong scents. I made sure that everything I bought had gained an RHS gold medal and I planted each with great care, digging in plenty of organic matter as the soil in my garden is poor (and the builders had removed all the top soil!). My plan now is to plant bunches of fragrant miniature narcissi--of course I have got the bulbs on special offer (BBC publications again!). I'd love to here your comments about this.