Skating on Thin Ice

It's been a heartbreaking week. First I went up to the allotment on Wednesday and discovered all my courgettes, half my corn, and two of my tomato plants had been killed off by an overnight frost. Then, on Friday, came the news that Monty Don had suffered a mild stroke and will no longer present Gardeners' World. I really didn't want to face my friend to tell her what had happened to her plants. Luckily, she was so sedated she examined the grizzly evidence of the brown muck that was all that was left of her squash plants with admirable aplomb. It was our leader who almost collapsed over the stricken hotbed, mumbling, 'I had no idea, there was no sign of frost in my village.' He reacted like a kind old grandpa, offering to buy me some more courgettes...not even arguing when I insisted these should be not just any old courgettes but the yellow and Italian ones I really like. Finally, of course, there's been the fiasco of the Eurovision Song Contest. Last again! I have to admit here I actually voted for the Russian entry as soon as I realised the iceskater was none other than Evgeny Plushenko who I absolutely adore beyond all measure. Bloody Terry Wogan...yes, he of the Testicular Wardrobe Malfunction... didn't even know who he was! (H and I also liked the Spanish entry as we were following all the dance moves by the end. We both thought it was the best representation of European Culture since the Chicken Song). Anyway, I think the right entry won, so there.
Oh, and another thing before I go. I had an e-mail from James suggesting I grow some carrots between the rows of onions as then they would be protected from carrot fly. James, for heaven's sake, don't you understand anything? I am not allowed to grow ANYTHING between the onions as these are the sole property of our revered leader, who is not at all possessive (unlike me).

Saving Tibet

Did my bit for the people of Tibet this week: I planted four Goji bushes in their honour on the allotment. Once again we're at the cutting age of the Green Revolution here: Goji berries are supposed to have the highest nutritional qualities of any fruit in the world, and they evidently tolerate all manner of mismanagement. I'll try not to get too political here, but just say they should fit right in on the allotment, where, this week, our leader managed to lose all the pink fir potatoes we were hoping to plant. I should say at this point that our shed is currently full of all manner of other potatoes which none of us asked to grow, but which we'll probably have to plant (His back's gone again). One of our clients has decided to take matters into her own hands and has taken over a strip of our secondary plot. Working alone one Saturday morning she got the whole lot dug over and ready for planting----previously two of our men had taken a month to do a tenth of it. It's amazing what sheer frustration and anger can empower one to do! Another fabulous breakthrough: she managed to get us a brand new cold frame through Freecycle (of which I have spoken before). My window sill is now filling up with sweetcorn and I've just set up a little plug plant mini-greenhouse filled with Brussel Sprout seeds to give to another client to grow on (this is one of the advantages of shopping with QVC; a lot of the plants come in these re-useable containers). We all know now we have to fight our leader's obsession with potatoes (especially when he loses the only ones we actually want to plant!). I've been filling the allotment as fast as I can with any seed I can get my hands on: carrots, turnips, parsnips, radishes....They were all free offers in this month's gardening magazines, if you want to know. Two of the mags are offering ten whole free packets... Get out there now while stocks last! There's nothing like poor leadership to test one's survival instinct (it's worth thinking about this...).

Jellied Brain

You might like to know that I now have 9 friends on Facebook. However, their Superfriends application has just informed me I have zero popularity and am classified as a "wallflower". There's still work to be done then...One other exciting revelation today. I got my "Everything You Need for Teaching Psychology" catalogue from Uniview (http://www.uniview.co.uk/). Whoever would have thought one needed 1) Jellied Brain Sweets 2) A Thinking Cap (revealing one's head as uncovered brain tissue), and 3) sets of S-t-r-e-t-c-h Your Students exercises, to teach the subject. And I only have the textbook! I had wanted to order a model brain, but found that theirs were much too expensive. A pity really, if I had spent over £75 I could have had a free Obsessive Compulsive Disorder poster! I thought it was about time I gave you a recipe or two to help you understand just how wonderful having an allotment can be. Here's my farmer's wife winter casserole recipe: Get a medium sized casserole dish. Put one or two pork chops in the bottom. Add any seasonal veg from your allotment. This may be: garlic, onion, carrots, and cauliflower heads. Place a few leaves of sage and one bay leaf (also from the allotment) on top of the veg. Chop up and core an apple (either from the allotment, or brought at Apple Day...). Put this on top of veg. Add about a cup full of water and salt/pepper to taste. Put in oven at Gas Mark 2. Cook for 2 hours. Oh heck, I'll have to go now. I just realised I forgot to put the apple in.