Mudlarks

Thought I'd just fill you in on what happened yesterday, as I did actually go to the allotment in the end. You see, by ten o'clock it wasn't raining that hard, and I remembered a couple of people who'd said they were going didn't have keys to the shed, so I thought I'd better make my way there just in case anyone was silly enough to want to garden in the rain. There was no-one else about when I arrived, so I started planting out the last of the squashes that I've been growing on the windowsill. I plant these, if you want to know, in the middle of the runner bean rows, as they like the extra nutrition and the support the beans provide. I'd just finished this when I heard the merry tinkle of a bicycle bell. Who should it be but Patrick, arriving in the now heavy downpour without even a waterproof on. (No that sounds silly, he was dressed, you understand, he just lacked any waterproof outergarments). He'd cycled 15 miles! What a wonderful day for gardening! he proclaimed as he leapt from the saddle. I directed him to the ancient pile of horse manure that needing turning into our winter plot, and he started digging manically. I continued for about half an hour as the rain came pelting down at all angles, gathering in beans, turnips, onions, and even a few baby potatoes. Then I made for the shed where I had a cup of coffee from my flask and surveyed the damage. I was covered in mud from head to foot and my shoes were awash with water. Patrick went on and on and on, only returning at intervals to tell me what a great day it was, and how fabulous our soil is. I started feeling a nasty chill, if not full-blown pneumonia, coming on, and wondered if it would ever end. Suddenly, Patrick asked me what the time was. Mid-day, I said. Great! he replied, that's exactly when I'd decided to stop! And, Praise the Lord, stop he did. Immediately. Everything packed back in the shed in under five minutes. On the way home I stopped off at the charity office. That new man you sent me, I said, dripping muddy water all over their floor and oozing rotting vegetation from every orifice, he's absolutely mad! That's the point, they said. And indeed it is. But you don't expect it, somehow, of the volunteers.

Saving Tibet

Did my bit for the people of Tibet this week: I planted four Goji bushes in their honour on the allotment. Once again we're at the cutting age of the Green Revolution here: Goji berries are supposed to have the highest nutritional qualities of any fruit in the world, and they evidently tolerate all manner of mismanagement. I'll try not to get too political here, but just say they should fit right in on the allotment, where, this week, our leader managed to lose all the pink fir potatoes we were hoping to plant. I should say at this point that our shed is currently full of all manner of other potatoes which none of us asked to grow, but which we'll probably have to plant (His back's gone again). One of our clients has decided to take matters into her own hands and has taken over a strip of our secondary plot. Working alone one Saturday morning she got the whole lot dug over and ready for planting----previously two of our men had taken a month to do a tenth of it. It's amazing what sheer frustration and anger can empower one to do! Another fabulous breakthrough: she managed to get us a brand new cold frame through Freecycle (of which I have spoken before). My window sill is now filling up with sweetcorn and I've just set up a little plug plant mini-greenhouse filled with Brussel Sprout seeds to give to another client to grow on (this is one of the advantages of shopping with QVC; a lot of the plants come in these re-useable containers). We all know now we have to fight our leader's obsession with potatoes (especially when he loses the only ones we actually want to plant!). I've been filling the allotment as fast as I can with any seed I can get my hands on: carrots, turnips, parsnips, radishes....They were all free offers in this month's gardening magazines, if you want to know. Two of the mags are offering ten whole free packets... Get out there now while stocks last! There's nothing like poor leadership to test one's survival instinct (it's worth thinking about this...).